Do you find it difficult to say no to things you don't want to do? Do you find it difficult to say no for the sake of your own well-being?
Many of us, particularly women, feel bad turning down social invitations, requests for assistance, or extra work, despite the fact that we each have a limited amount of time and energy each day. When we're overburdened with work and family responsibilities, it's difficult to say no to the things we don't want to do.
If you spend your energy on things you don't want to do, you won't have enough energy to excel at tasks you do want to do. If you find it difficult to say no, try these suggestions to reclaim your time and energy:
Be Clear and Direct
You may be overly mild in your refusal if you've ever tried to decline something gently yet found yourself doing so anyhow. When saying no to something, keep it clear, sweet, and to the point. Use terms such as:
Allow Yourself Some Time to Think
If it's difficult for you to say no while you're talking to someone face to face, it's fine to ask for some time to consider their offer. Then you can assess your calendar to see if you have enough time to prepare twelve dozen cupcakes for the bake sale, or if it's simply too much. You can prepare a meaningful email denying the offer or write a script for a short phone conversation after you've given it some thought.
Practice, Practice, and More Practice
It can be extremely difficult to say no if you have been socialized to prioritize the needs of others. You will be well-versed in assisting others, which makes it difficult to resist being asked to do something you don't want to do, especially when it is for the benefit of someone else. That is why it is critical to be deliberate in saying 'no.' However, as with anything, saying 'no' becomes easier with practice.
If the thought of saying "no" makes you nervous, gather your courage and say it the next time someone asks you to do something you don't want to do.
It also helps if you have some prepared remarks or a brief script that you have rehearsed and practiced. You won't have to think too hard about what to say when you're faced with a circumstance when you truly want to say no.
The more you practice saying "no," the more natural it becomes.
Hello and welcome to Wholesome Venus! I am Lola James and it's great to meet you. As as a former case manager for domestic violence programs, I am an advocate for self-care and female empowerment.